Groping for suchness

I was eating dinner last night, and I had the news on...said that Bea Arthur had passed...how freakin sad! I actually remember her on Maud (as Maud) and Dorothy on The Golden Girls. I guess I'll have to watch Lifetime to watch old episodes ... rest in peace Bea:(

Well, I'm so stoked about the new year, and though 08 wasn't all that bad, it is always good to get a fresh start! A good friend of mine stopped by new years eve, and asked if I would be interested in coming over to her place to bring in the new year, and I cheerfully accepted the offer...to tell the truth I was moping all day as i didn't have any plans. I had a few drinks which made the night even more enjoyable, and she had some of her friends over, and they were all a hoot! As far as resolutions go:
I don't have any! I never keep them anyway!
I'm excited about starting back at school next monday, and on the 12th, back to work. I hope the economy improves this year. It is so sad to talk to people who have either lost their jobs or are in fear of losing their job. This is just another example that capitalism is screwing so many people! I feel good about this year though, and with that fucker Bush out of office, at least we have some glimmer of hope.

I really can't believe how fast this year has gone! Christmas was nice...got to see my Dad who is in from St. Croix, Got new clothes, ate lots of food etc. For the new year, I want to get a tatoo, but not sure what to get. It's been really nice not worrying about school shit, but it starts back on the 5th. I start back at work on the 12th.
I've been laughing my arse off watching clips of The Young Ones on You tube. It has been so freakin long since I've watched it ...made me feel like i was 16 again! lol I'd like to find out if they have all the episodes on dvd.

I got my new computer last thursday, and what is so cool about it is that I can actually watch all those videos from Youtube that you guys post! With the old computer i couldn't hear shit not to mention not seeing it. My friend David in Houston is going to post old video clips he saved back from our demonstrations with Queer Nation and ACT-UP in the early 90s to Youtube...total nostalgia! We had major demonstrations when the Republican National Convention came to Houston in 1992, a big demonstration against queer bashing in the local Montrose area of Houston...10 youths from an afflueant suburb decided to come to Montrose and kill them some "faggots". It was totally sad because a young guy was beaten and stabbed to death on 4th of July, 1991. All this seems like a life time ago, and i guess it was, but I'm glad I got to be a part of it all. I wish Queer Nation was still an entity, but maybe someone might be inspired one day to start it back up.
All is good. School is good, and I'm looking forward to next semester. The spring schedule was posted online, so i get to look for the classes I need to take. I'm a little nervous about tuesday, but i really feel that Obama is going to be our next president! He is supposed to be in Jacksonville tomorrow morning, but I won't be able to go. he was here a few weeks ago, and the place he spoke held 12,000 and there were still lots of people waiting outside. I feel good about life now, and with this much needed change, I feel real great! No politition is perfect, but a change is needed.

Well, it is official...I got that workstudy job at the Department of sociology, anthropology and criminal justice!!! I go tomorrow to human resources to do some paper work and give them my SS card (which I got on monday), state id, and then it is totally the start of a new chapter for me! My job description includes answering the phone, sending e-mails, greeting people, and other stuff. I'll be working on tuesdays, thursdays and fridays from 11 to 5, which is great!! I've been unemployed since November 1994, and it is nice to get a second wind (even if it is 14 years).
I found out today that DBS will be delivering my new computer next, and this computer guy will be installing all the new stuff for it...life is indeed a good thing:) Has anyone on my friends list seen Religulous (The new Bill Mohrs documentary)? He is one of my favorite comedians, and from his appearances on Larry King, Hard Ball etc...it sounds like it is going to be a really funny film. A friend of mine told me that she heard that the closest venue it is playing at is in Orlando, which is over 2 hours away. Let me know, pretty please?

Well, I went for that interview for a work study at the Department of Sociology, Anthropology and Criminal Justice, and I think it was a success!  The office manager assured me that all accomadations  would be met for me to use the computer, phones etc.  I'm waiting for my social security card as I lost it and I went to the SS office last friday to get a new one, so I hope to have it in a few days. 
I've been having computer woes as of late after installing the new version of the JAWS software I use...I payed over $300 for this software, and since Division of Blind Services wasn't paying shit for me, I wrote them a killer letter of justification  telling DBS that I know they want me to go full time to school, but due to life circumstances parttime works better for me, and that I'm trustworthy, have a GPA of 3.12, yada, yada, and that because this technology that is supposed to help a blind college student is so freakin expensive that I really need their help.  They approved it, so I'm getting a new pc, which should be installed by weeks end! 
This past week or so has been pretty stressful, but in this case I'm coming up smelling like roses!  lol  I went to the LGBT Resource Center on campus, and just wanted to say hello as I've never visited there before.  Forrest Whitiker was on campus a few fridays ago, but I found out about it after the fact.  I'm excited about the election this year, and if Obama keeps up the "MO", then he'll have it in the bag! 

I had my first exam in social psychology last monday. I wasn't sure what my grade was as it was posted on black board, and it doesn't give you a percentage grade. There were two numbers on the final count...48 50. Being the neurotic dork that I am sometimes, I thought the 48 was like 48%, but on closer inspection the 48 actually meant that I got 48 of the 50 questions right!! Needless to say, this is a very sweet start to the fall semester! I take my first exam in Stress management next monday, and I feel confident about that one. I did a little division work, and my grade for the social psychology exam was 96%.
The weather here turned nice. I could actually wear a pair of jeans, and not sweat my balls off on the way to Starbucks. All is well here:)

This post is very concerned with the state of life as it has started off this fall. So far in school this semester, I've mett lots of cool people, started counseling with an openly gay counselor who has invited me to several events the LGBT Resource Center on campus is holding, still waiting to hear from the woman in charge of the program I'm supposed to do Work study with, and it is finally starting to cool off here a bit...if you live in FL then you know what I mean, but for those of you who live up North or elsewhere where it gets down right cold now, you would say "it is so fucking hot!". Obama is in town today, and I wish I could've gone, but I'll check it out on the news. McCain was here like last week, so at least Obama is recognizing us up herein Jacksonville...can we say breath of fresh air??

After trying real hard not to give any credence to the telivision this past week, I sense that the evangelical wrong is up to their old tricks, and that this v.p. pick for McCain actually worsens the whole affect of the political environment of this country...as if it could get any worse? To expound on Cody's post, any Queer who votes Republican is in a state of "self hatred", and that they in turn screw the rest of us who just happen to thing that the republican party is just another face of fascism, and they are totally shitting on the constitution and don't give a shit about persons who might actually question the government and all those who are not happy with the state of affairs. I must say that it is not only Queers who are the target of their christian angst, but anyone who doesn't fit their Leave it to Beaver, Pleasantville, pie in the sky, utopia , which is a load of shit anyway.
My discontent with what I've heard from Palin is not because she is a woman, but her subscription to the same ol' shit is nothing new. She is Just Bush, Chenney, McCain with tits and a vagina...nuff said.

As of yesterday, we were told we might have a catigory 1 hurricane, but Mother Nature was kind but still abitch as we are to have a shitload of rain starting later today, and all through tomorrow. The winds are still a bit of a worry , but hopefully they won't be too bad...freaky storm!
Classes start on monday, and I have the route planned out, and Bogey gets me there just fine...he is such a wonder dog!I've got all my books...on cd and the regular text, so I'm not worrying about that...this semester is going to be just fine!

It was very sad to hear, and I'll feel that sink in my heart when I watch an episode of Golden Girls. One thing that impressed me with Estelle Getty, was that the fact she was an AIDS activist. Having lost so many friends on Broadway when she was doing Broadway shows , ignited the activist spirit in her, and she was outspoken in her support of PWLAswell as remembering those dear friends she lost.

Well, yet another change in my academic career, but actually going back to where I started off with. Even taking two lit classes will be stressful for me...it has all to do with getting text on audio. In one of the classes I'm supposed to take in the fall, there are 8 text, and I was only able to find three, which means that I'd either have to get people to read them for me, or have them scanned which will be quite the chore. Plus, I have a work study I'm supposed to start next year, and with the added stress of taking those two lit classes, it wouldn't work. I'm going back to my original major psychology. I already have 9 credit hours, and I'll just keep English as my minor...a total flip flop, but hey it works.
The lit class I'm taking this last part of the summer is called "Wild encounters", and has been quite enjoyable. It is about animals in literature, and also the when people act "beast like". One of the texts is called "Animal" by Erica Fudge, and is quite philosofical with it's approach to human's outlook on animals. She is a vegetarian, but doesn't use the test as a soapbox to penalize "omnivores", and is not an add for PETA. The professor who teaches the class is himself a vegetarian, but doesn't use the class to promote vegetarianism. Neat class!
A funny thing happened to me last tuesday at school. I was in the restroom, and washing my hands. I wore a tank-top that day, and when washing my hands, this guy was to the right of me, and he told me that one of my tits was exposed, and then proceeded to pinch my nipple then left...people are so strange sometimes! lol

...this freakin class is over with...just two more classes and it is finished! I've totally had my fill of old English, but it figures that the closer we get to the end, the shit hits the fan. I've still got a research paper due on monday, which I've not started, and that freakin recitation...the lord's prayer I have to do before the wednesday of next week...grrr! This professor is really nice, but she is a hardass, and thankfully it is all over with next week. I made a C on the mid-term, which is alright...at least I passed it.
It is raining like fuck here today, so needless to say, I'm stuck here...it is the professors fault! lol I have the first 3 weeks in August off, so I'm still trying to decide what I want to do for this time off. I would like to fly to Houston, and hang out with a friend, but plane tickets are out there...guess it is the price of gas. I'll figure it out...

Well, I'm on chapter 7 of Grendel, and I'm really enjoying this story...it's refreshing compared with Beowulf though Grendel was written in the 20th century...I'm not too good with old english, but hey, I have to put up with it for the next 3 weeks.
On another off the wall note, I've been so horny as of late...not doing the Viagra thing, but it's just crept up on me lately...maybe it's time for a hookup? I think so. It's been quite a while since the last hookup...it's just a total bitch to find someone to hookup with, and the blind issue doesn't do wonders for cruising! lol

I'm so freakin glad it is summer...well we're still in spring, but in FL it might as well be. I started my summer A class...early British lit, and it is interesting, but I have to admit that the old English throws me for a loop! It just so happens that this guy offered to e-mail me his notes, and wouldn't you know he is transgendered....female to male, and he is totally cool! I'm studying for a quiz that is monday. To my LJ friends on LJ from the UK, I got really naucious reading Bede's history of the church in Britain...can someone please tell me what really happened?? What a candy coated piece of Christian shit!! Sorry about that, but it sounded like the evangelical bullshit coloring the American political scene here as of late. I'm reading Beowulf this weekend, and I hope it makes more scense reading it this time than when in high school. All this aside, this class is really interesting so far, and it is only six weeks.
I love summer time!! it feels good to get out the shorts, flip-flops, and slap the sunscreen on, and go outside. I haven't been to the pool yet, but I will in good time. Since I've got my mohawk back, I have to slap sunscreen on my head...no sense in getting my head more fried ...the many acid trips did a little number way back when! lol

Well, I'm having one of those nostalgic moments. I was listening to the radio, and Can you feel the love tonight by Elton John came on. It affected me so because The Lion King was the last film I saw in a theater before going blind. I know it sounds sad, and it is, but when I listen to The Lion King soundtrack, it makes me feel good, and that all is well...it's hard to describe, and I guess this is why I have my LJ. I know it might sound pathetic to some, but life is a good thing, and blindness, HIV/AIDS, and nothing else keeps me from feeling solace in something that may seem depressing to some. Before going to the theater that day, I called all my friends, and no one could go because they had to work, were tired etc, so I thought to myself :fuck you all, I'm going anyway". When I got to the theater, I went to get a big pale of pop corn (very buttered of course), a box of gummi bears, and a large Dr. Pepper, and I was set. It was the afternoon, and the theater was practically empty. I watched the film, and had a wonderful time watching it not knowing that this would be the last time I would be able to see a movie in a theater. I still go to the theater, and I have to know it is a movie I will be able to follow, and hopefully have a friend to go with to do a little description work for me. lol Well, nuff said, and I think I'll get the soundtrack out, and listen to it while in bed...take care all!

I met with my partner for the research presentation, which we present to the class wednesday of next week. He sounds like a cute little white reggae boy and a total stoner! lol The presentation is on Booker T. Washington and W.E.B. dubois, and basically the disdain they held for each other. I've been working on it all day today...just trying to get a head start. This guy turned me on to this reggae artist called Gentleman, which I'm listening to now. He drove me home last night, so in return I treated him to dinner at this resturaunt on campus called "Wack a doo's. I offered him gas money, but I think he wanted a beer and dinner instead. lol
In other news, I get this freaking caste off on thursday...woo hoo! It feels so good to actually type and use my right hand for eating...know it sounds ridiculous, but hey I'm happy! Trying to keep up on my reading, but T.S. Eliot is a drag...oh well, he is part of the ride. The weather here has been quite nice up until today. I was wearing a tank top and jean shorts yesterday, but today it's been cloudy, and very cool...the heat will be on before you know it.

Well, I passed that first intro to psych exam with a B...83 to be exact. I'm not a stickler for getting perfect grades; as long as i pass them. I'm happy!
It has been so dreary weather - wise, which is nice...it has actually been a little cool...enough so that my high beams shoot straight out when a good breeze takes me by surprise. Life is good!

I love listening to radio I used to listen to when I lived in Houston!
Radio here sucks!

Last tuesday I went to a social my HIV support group was having. There is this totally pissy queen who always makes comments about me and my dog...for instance "I guess you never give that dog water at home" and "that dog sure pisses a lot when you take him out". Well, the shit hit the fan when my friend Savannah told me that this queen made another snide comment to her, so I walked into the room he was sitting, and I told him "hey Randy, I took the dog out, so you don't have to get your panties in a wad, and by the way FUCK YOU!!Mind your own fucking business, and quit jamming my frequencies...while your at it lick my ass you scumbag!!". I take good care of my dog, feed him, and keep his water bowl filled up, take him to the vet every 6 months, take him out to go take a dump and piss regularly, bathe him, and give him all the tlc he can stand. This is why I went off on his ass, and I hope to fuck he got the message!Why can't people worry about their own life, and stop being obsessed with other people's lives? I don't like getting that angry about things, but this was the last straw I had with him.